im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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