He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
