why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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