I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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