I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
And then he peed in my hair
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