is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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