Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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