at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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