i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
