If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize