I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
