Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
