Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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