38 yer olds are good kisserssss
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
