She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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