I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
There r osticjed everywhere
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
