They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Just pee around me
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
