Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
