I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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