So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
