He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
