so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I need moral support for this bender
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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