Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
