Your face is a jimmy john
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Randomize
