I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
