when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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