And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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