I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Randomize
