This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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