***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
