I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize