So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I am in a vortex of obligation.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
