how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
