I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
