dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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