What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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