At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
