if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Randomize
