I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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