"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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