The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
