the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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