Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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