I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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