My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
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