who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
