Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
You can't motorboat a personality
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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