i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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