Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize