Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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