someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
