What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
