I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
