Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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