STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
