just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
