I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
