wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
