What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
